we're blogging at a bar
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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