Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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