I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
