Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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