brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
