Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
