Nicole vs. Life
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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