Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
