I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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