god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Alive.
So much puke
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
