Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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