and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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