her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
