you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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