I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
