it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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