Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
