He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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