how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
