Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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