one might say we're banned from that church
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
