I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
