i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize