Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he fucked my hip out of place.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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