YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
