Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
