Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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