im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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