your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize