I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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