I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize