i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
