I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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