We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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