Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
