dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
