there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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