I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize