do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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