Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
