it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
