Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
These tits shall not be calmed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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