Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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