I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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