i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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