my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
