So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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