After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
