Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
splinters make it hard to masturbate
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
As shirtless as possible
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
