How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
