I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
