just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
