OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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