If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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