dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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