Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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