We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
