He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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