I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
