I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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