spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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