if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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