Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
