sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize