I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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