Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
