when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
