i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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