Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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